Seinfeld dating quotes

Posted by / 30-Dec-2017 06:59

Seinfeld dating quotes

It just completely changes the relationship.”Jerry Seinfeld: “You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.” Jerry Seinfeld: "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. "Jerry Seinfeld: "Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. information."George Costanza: "I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up."Jerry Seinfeld: "You, my friend, have crossed the line between man and bum." George Costanza: "You should've seen her face.I'd let him out of his cage, he'd fly right into the mirror.And I'd always think, "Even if he thinks the mirror is another room, why doesn't he at least try to avoid hitting the other parakeet?"What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? See you later."Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen.To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.

This is no longer just some crazy notion, Elaine, Jerry. Just hurling through space in your living room, watching TV. The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, "Hey look, there's a whole other room in there.There's a guy that looks just like me in there." But the parakeet would fall for this."Would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? This woman thinks I'm very funny and now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be?I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny."Any day you had gym class was a weird school day. You had English, Social Studies, Geometry, then suddenly your in Lord of the Flies for 40 minutes.

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I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be.

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